Senseless Chatter, For Sure

I'm pretty sure that most Christians want to commune with God; I know I sure do. But, I'm not very good at encouraging intimacy. This notion popped into my head (again) when I started considering how my conversations with God go.

Think about it...well, wait. First, think about the person to which you're closest. Think about the conversations you have with that person. Think about the time you spend with that person. What are the characteristics of those moments?

For me, there's a great amount of ease. I can be upfront and honest. Conversations can get intense, but there's always an underlying groundedness, hinting at the aforementioned ease. At the same time, words aren't always a necessity. I don't harbor concern when there's silence. All in all, it's just a setting of comfortability.

By contrast, how I approach conversations with God is completely different. I'm usually okay with honesty, since it's hard to deny the fact that God always knows what's really going on. ;) However, I don't take a comfortable tone. My tone can sometimes be frantic, such as when I'm pleading with God for some specific outcome to a situation...similar to a defendent pleading with a judge. Other times, it's just rote...similar to an adolescent that is forced to converse with his parents over dinner. But, it always oscillates between one extreme and another...both attributed to an improper state of mind on my part.

And, in both cases I overdose on words. In the rote case, I barrel on through the words so I can rapidly reach the finish line and be done with the chore. In the frantic case, I'll emotionally repeat my requests over and over, as if God doesn't hear them the first time. I try to convince myself that God may honor my "fervor," but it's such a ploy for me to internally feel like I've done a thorough job of carrying my woes to God. After all, if I do my part, I can't be blamed for a less than optimal outcome, right? Ugh.

There's much improvement to be had in the way I approach God.