Senseless Chatter with Minimal Splatter

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Spin Me Right 'Round

So, I try to get in some cardio at the gym after work on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Typically, that means 45 minutes on an elliptical machine, since I wasn’t given the best knee genetics. Well, a friend of our family is often at the gym while I am, and he is an avid spin-classer. And, at the end of 2008, he basically went around to all the guys that are there in the afternoon and asked them to join the spin class, in order to even out the gender ratio. The poor guy is usually the only male in there.

Ok, so I had never been to a spin class before; my limited knowledge was that it was basically an aerobics class on stationary bikes. I figured that it would be interesting to at least try it once.

Alright, so 5:30pm, Tuesday afternoon, I get to the gym. The first thing I noticed was that the guy that roped me into this thing wasn’t there, but his daughter was. It turns out that he had had some sort of minor medical procedure done that day and was at home resting. Did I feel like a sucker? Maybe a bit. However, it actually worked out well, because the class was basically full, and I had to take what would’ve been his bike.

Anyway, I went over to my bike, and I immediately learned why guys don’t usually frequent spin classes. THE SEAT WAS NOT COMFORTABLE. And, I’m not gonna go into a lot of detail on this point, but feel free to connect the dots on your own...NOT COMFORTABLE.

Oh, but I would not be deterred. I hopped on board and strapped my feet into the pedals. That’s right—you have to strap yourself in. Moreover, you have to tuck your shoelaces into your shoes. I guess that probably is standard biking etiquette (fast moving spokes and all), but in the moment, all it meant to me was that I was about to get owned by this spin class.

The omens just kept coming...I started to warm-up on the pedals (since that’s what everyone else was doing), and I looked around. Every single person had a huge bottle of water at their station. ALL OF THEM. Did I think to bring water? Haha, not a chance. This was just a whim. A poorly planned whim.

So, the class finally started. Overhead lights off, black lights on, music up...apaprently this is a rave-inspired class. Next time I’ll bring some glowsticks. ;) Anyway, we get going on low resistance. Easy cheesy. Then, we cranked it up—tougher but still doable. Oh, then the fun began…the standing up and sitting down part. By the time you get to stand up, your quads are burning, so standing is actually a relief, in spite of the awkwardness associated with simultaneously standing and pedaling. I mean, you’re just not supposed to do that. The worse part of this section involved sitting down each time, because it’s amazing how you forget how uncomfortable the seat is...until you sit down again. Now, imagine getting that realization 50 times in rapid succession. Nice.

The last half of the class involved cranking up resistance in intervals...10 seconds, 20 seconds, etc. I was amazed at how long 30 seconds felt. How long and how PAINFUL. I make no excuses...I’m a total weakling, but still, wow. The last thing was a 2.5-minute climb at max resistance standing up. You know, by this point, it was tough, but I was kinda numb to the pain. Is that the goal? I can’t tell.

Anyway, we made it through and started to cool down. And, BAM, that’s when it hit me. As soon as the adrenaline started dying down, I knew that 1) not having water was a big mistake, and 2) not eating a snack mid-afternoon was also a big mistake. Now, keep your gasps to a minimum...I didn’t faint or anything. Although, for a second, I did think about how embarrassing it would be for the one guy in the class to collapse under the strain; it would’ve brought ridicule and shame upon the entire male population. Fortunately, I survived. After 5 minutes of cool down, I was good to go. I left breathing deeply and feeling like I really got the blood pumping, which totally is the goal.

So, am I gonna go again? Well, we have our new production at the theatre starting next week, and I am involved with that show, so most of my late afternoon-evening time will be spoken for. The result is that workout time is gonna suffer. :( But, I will say that I’m not totally opposed to spin classes...provided I eat a snack beforehand, I bring some water, and I get used to the seat. That last one is gonna be a killer.

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